Doing Something a Little Different

Now that I have a child, my time to create content is limited. I have a handful of half-written blog posts, a full-page list of post ideas, and two filmed videos yet to be edited (from 3 months ago). I want to produce intentional, valuable content for you all, but that is not going to happen in the pre-planned, structured process I've done before. At least not any time soon. So I've decided to be a bit more off-the-cuff with my blog and write journal style for a while. Enjoy!

The week started great. My friend, Marcelia, came to hang out at my house on Sunday. It was fun to sit on the floor and play with Logan while catching up and having drinks. Logan is such an easy little boy. He is content to play, entertain you with his gibberish and laughter and watch tv (no, I don't love his tv time, but the tv is always on in our house, so no getting around it).

We didn't do anything special for Labor Day this year. I enjoyed time with Logan while Doug helped his sister and brother-in-law with some projects at their new house... right next door! We are super excited to have them as our neighbors and can't wait to be able to send Logan over to Aunt Mandie's when we need a break.

While it is always nice to start the week with an extra day off, it made for a hectic four days of work. My boss decided to retire finally, and now I am adjusting to a new leader. My new boss is very different from my former one. I want to impress, but I also need to learn their communication style, personality, and priorities. Right now, I’m having to check myself before I wreck myself, as the saying goes. These next few weeks are going to be long, tiring, and filled with anxiety. Note to self: pick up more cider beer.

On top of being a short work week, I also had my yearly physical and blood work. My cholesterol had been on the higher side since Logan was born. I had blood work completed back in March and was cautioned by my doctor if my cholesterol was still high, he would recommend medication. Thankfully, my cholesterol was more acceptable, and my HDL (the good cholesterol) was excellent!

BUT, my fasting glucose came back elevated, in the prediabetes range. Because I had gestational diabetes while I was pregnant and diabetes runs in my family, my doctor wanted me to get a hemoglobin study (just more blood work) to check my A1C. This test measured my average sugar levels over the last three months.

I was pretty sure my test would come back in the prediabetes range, but, woot!, woot! my A1C was perfect, with no signs of prediabetes or diabetes. So, for now, we will repeat blood work in six months.

The week ended with Mr. Logan deciding he didn't want to sleep through the night, something he does every few days or so. We are never quite sure what causes his night wakings: teething, room temperature (his room is above our garage and runs either too warm or too cold and rarely just right, we have a space heater and a ceiling fan to assist with getting it close to comfortable), digestive issues, hunger, nightmares. It's always a guessing game. Most nights, I guess correctly.

But Friday night, he did NOT want to go to bed, and it took Doug and I a few times switching off before he finally fell asleep and stayed asleep. Saturday night, he went down around 7:45 pm and then was awake again around 9 pm. After a few tries to get him back to sleep, to no avail, I decided to let him play on the floor in his room. We sang songs, practiced pull-to-stand, read a few books, and by 11 pm, I was exhausted to wanted to sleep. We tried putting him in our bed, something we have done a handful of times out of desperation, but after thirty minutes of him laying there fussing and crying and kicking us, Doug and I were at our limit.

I finally gave in and pulled out a bag of frozen breastmilk and a bottle. We had nixed the bedtime bottle the week before, and Logan hadn't received any bottles in over a week. I was hesitant to give him a bottle again because I didn't want him to regress. But, of course, that did the trick. Whether he was hungry because it had been five hours since dinner and usually he was asleep at that time, or the sucking sensation provided comfort for him to relax to sleep, who knows?! But I hope it was a one-off thing.

Fingers crossed this week will be less chaotic and easy. I am looking forward to making a batch of gluten-free, dairy-free apple cider donuts and purchasing a couple of oversized flannel shirts to get me in the mood for Fall.

I hope your week was not as rough as mine, but if it was, I'm sending good vibes your way for a productive, stress-free week. What are you looking forward to this week? Any fun autumn traditions you want to share?

A Canceled Baby Shower and Isolation During Pregnancy

Today was supposed to be my baby shower. But due to Covid19, we had to cancel as so many other expectant mamas have had to do. And I could be sad about today. About missing out on such a special milestone in my first and possibly only pregnancy. But instead, I am choosing to be grateful, happy, and optimistic.

I'm grateful myself, my baby, my husband, and our family and friends are all healthy and at least physically unaffected by this virus. My fingers and toes are crossed, that remains the case. I'm grateful to be blessed with so many wonderful friends and family who have sent or dropped off gifts even though the shower was canceled weeks ago.

I'm happy it's a beautiful day here today, sunny and warm, which is my favorite kind of weather. And I'm so glad I have the whole day free to soak in all this sun while reading a book and writing this post.

And I'm optimistic this time we are living through, literally history in the making shall pass eventually. My experiences during this pregnancy have been far from what I initially expected. However, in many ways, it's been just what I expected and also even better than I expected.

Why Be Sad When You Could Be Glad

No, I won't have beautiful memories and pictures of getting together with friends and family to celebrate our little boy before his arrival. But I was planning on having pizza, hoagies, and an ice cream bar at the shower. With a recent diagnosis of gestational diabetes, I wouldn't have been able to partake in all that yummy food. So instead, we're hoping to have a "Meet the Baby" get together after his arrival. And hopefully, then I'll be able to eat all the pizza and ice cream I want.

And no, my husband currently can't accompany me to any of the prenatal appointments I've had over the last few weeks. But with his work schedule, I don't think he would have been able to attend those appointments anyway. We've found other ways to keep him connected to this pregnancy and our little one. I immediately send ultrasound photos or videos. I fill him in on what he missed: if the baby was cooperative or uncooperative, an update on his development, growth and the progression of the pregnancy, and my thoughts and feelings regarding the appointment. He also reads books at bedtime, touches my belly when little man is going crazy, and has helped set up the nursery. He's about as connected and involved with this pregnancy and our son as I'd expect him to be regardless of the current situation.

And no, I may not be able to have my doula in the room with us while I give birth (that one is still a possibility, so I'm going to hold out hope) or have visitors at the hospital afterward. BUT it's incredible what this pandemic has created in regards to virtual connection. My doula can be there via IPad or phone to offer suggestions for pain management and walk my husband through the best ways to be supportive. She can also provide her opinion regarding how our pregnancy is progressing. It's been helpful to know ahead of time she may only be there virtually. I have done more research on what I can do to create a calm and positive atmosphere and how to be a self-advocate for the labor I'm hoping to endure.

I've had the time to practice breathing techniques and put together a few labor playlists to listen to during the various stages of labor. I've created a vision board with prompts to remind me to relax my body, breathe slowly and deeply, and to trust that my body knows what it's doing. I'm performing daily exercises and holding postures that are said to help progress labor. And I'm quizzing my husband on my birth plan as much as I can, so hopefully, some of it will stick with him. Long story short, I'm a person that likes to be prepared and having a heads up that I might have to do this solo (or at least without a doula), I'm taking the time to prepare mentally, physically, and emotionally.

And as far as visitors after his arrival, I have no clue how my childbirth experience will be. I can plan as much as I want, but until it's over and he's here, I'm not sure what physical or emotional state I'll be in after labor. Knowing people aren't waiting to swarm in to offer congratulations and to paw my brand new baby is kind of refreshing and peaceful. Sorry to any family reading this. I love you all and know you are super excited to meet him, but the idea of not having to "entertain" anyone for the first few days sounds appealing. I'm sure many people feel the opposite. But I know myself and while I may be begging for the help after his arrival, right now I like the idea of our little family riding the newborn wave solo for the first two or three days. After that, bring all the help!! LOL.

What to Expect When You're Expecting...

This period of my pregnancy is also going exactly as anticipated in many ways. My body is growing and changing every day. Some days I wake up feeling great, and other days I am uncomfortable from the minute I open my eyes. Some nights I sleep soundly and other nights I'm awake every hour having to pee or attempting to readjust my position to get comfortable.

Some days I feel almost light on my feet, and other days I know I'm waddling like Donald Duck. There have been moments that just for a second, I forget I'm pregnant until I catch myself in the mirror and see my bulging belly. Some days my mood and temperament are even and typical. Other days I feel certifiable. I can cry watching a sitcom or become enraged over a simple request to laminate an extra sheet of paper. I can have mood swings that give my husband whiplash.

And there are doctors' appointments, lots of them during this time. Even if some of them are via telemedicine, I still have to be at every single one. There was one week, not too long ago, when I had five appointments in three days! And I don't see the telemedicine visits as missing out on pregnancy milestones, I see them as peace of mind. I'm sure if there were concerns, my doctors wouldn't hesitate to bring me in more often. The fact I have telemedicine visits lets me know things are progressing as they should.

Can I Get an AMEN!!!

There are many things I could be bummed about, there are also many things I'm jazzed about. I have time to prepare for this baby. Not having obligations on the weekend gives me time to set up and organize the nursery. To wash all the clothing, bedding, blankets I've received. And to declutter the house to make room for baby items. I can pamper myself with a nice long bath, a pedicure (even though it's getting really hard to reach my toes), or a mid-day nap. I can read all the books I purchased to prepare for childbirth and postpartum and infant care. That in itself is pretty sweet.

I've also been working from home for the last eight weeks, which will hopefully continue until close to my due date. During this time, I don't have to wear pants!!!! Can I get a hallelujah from all the pregnant ladies?! I get to sleep in. I can take a nap on my lunch break if needed. I can switch out loads of laundry throughout the day, so I don't have to do it when I come home. I can prep dinner on a break, so it's ready to go once I clock out for the day.

Working from home in the last part of pregnancy has been glorious!! I wake up, get a workout in, maybe shower, maybe not and roll up to my desk in leggings and a t-shirt that I may or may not have slept in. And it doesn't matter because no one, except my husband, will see me. My skin feels great because I've been sans makeup for weeks, so no need to scrub and rub my face at night. My hair is still looking good because I'm not torturing it with a curling iron or flat iron on the daily. Hell, if I wash my hair twice a week, that's an accomplishment. I have free time to do the things that matter like workout and meditate or cook a healthy meal since I don't have to get "presentable" and commute to an office.

This will also make the transition from pregnancy to maternity leave a little easier. I get to go from working from home during a time of isolation to staying home during maternity leave with periods of isolation. I know for some mamas, it's tough to transition from social interactions every day to being at home full time mostly alone.

I get to spend all day with my cats, which I know they appreciate. I know my time to cuddle and baby them will be limited once little man is on the scene so I’m soaking it in now. My husband is working from home too, so we eat lunch together every day, during breaks we check-in to see how each others' days are going. When work is over for the day, we can put on our sneakers and go for a walk. We don't have to wait for the other to get home or stop and make dinner first. We look out the window, and if it's decent out, we go for a walk. This time I have to connect with the person and animals I love the most is so precious, and I don't take a single minute of it for granted.

Now, sure I miss my co-worker, seeing my nieces and family and having dinner dates with friends, but those things all still happen just different now. We can zoom, have driveway/porch check-ins, or have social distance coffee chats in the front yard. It's different, but it's doable.

I guess it helps that my husband and I are more homebodies and less social butterflies, but I'm loving the quarantine life most days. I'm trying to use this time wisely and set myself up for survival once the baby comes. Now, this doesn't mean there aren't things I'm bummed about.

FOMO for Real!

I was really looking forward to a pregnancy massage or two. I hear prenatal massages feel amazing!! I wanted to have a few chiropractic appointments to adjust my hip alignment and ease any backaches. I expected to be able to browse racks of infant clothes and purchase a few outfits, books, and toys that were just from me.

I wish I would have taken a prenatal yoga class before all this started. I've done a few online, but taking a class would have also allowed me to connect with other expectant mothers in my area. I planned to pamper myself every few weeks with gel manicures and spa pedicures while I sat in the chair and relished in the alone time. I purchased Groupon tickets to go to a float spa with my husband. Feeling weightless while pregnant must feel incredible. And I’m missing out on all the attention and adoration that comes from strangers and co-workers when you are pregnant.

But, if I let myself think about all the milestones I'm missing out on, I could really put myself into a funk. So instead, I'm looking for things to be grateful for during this isolating time: being outdoors, feeling the sun on my face, and the wiggles of a very active baby in my belly. And I'm choosing to be happy!

What are you missing out on while in quarantine? What are you loving about this time?